The Danny Danger Show[/color][/center]
The scene fades in, with a talk-show-esque feeling to the setting. Basically, imagine your typical late night talk show, only have most of the stuff be black and dark purple, with Heartgrams, 69 Eyes Posters, and an all around gothic music scene feel. At a desk which is painted black sits Danny Danger in a Bullet for my Valentine t-shirt, black jeans, and black Vans. He smiles whilst straightening some papers on his desk. Some cheesey music plays as the studio audience begins to clap.
Danny Danger: … Hello, ladies and gentlemen! Welcome to the first and last Danny Danger Show, mainly because this is the only thing I could think of for this match. See, I found something out about something’s that will be happening in the near future and it really made me die a little bit inside… but alas, I am trying to move past it, and onto my match this week, live in Tijuana, Mexico!
The audience cheers once again.
Danny Danger: But, before I get the ball rolling, please welcome my two co-hosts, first off, the one and only Android #18!
Everyone goes crazy, but the women’s cheers are definitely outdoing the men’s. From a curtain steps Eighteen, dressed as she always does. Danny stands up and claps for her as well as she goes over to the couch where the guests sit, and she does.
Danny Danger: Alright, next, the man who needs no introduction, ladies and gentlemen give it up for the “Franchise”, Sean Lewis!
From the same place Eighteen emerged comes Slug with a smile. He gives a peace symbol before crashing down unto the same couch Eighteen sits.
Danny Danger: Wow… Android #18. Isn’t it awesome that the restraining order had to be lifted so that we could do this tag team match?
Android #18: I guess… I must admit, I kinda missed ya kid.
Danny Danger: Oh, I’ve missed you too, Eighteen… luckily, a few dirty pictures, or drawings rather of you have held me over until I got to see you again, know what I’m sayin’?
Android #18: Uh… OK…
Sean Lewis: Danny, shouldn’t you be roleplaying?
Danny Danger: What do ya think I’m doing, Snail?
Sean Lewis: It’s Slug…
Danny Danger: It’s lame, that’s for sure. But nevertheless, let’s move onto our guests. See, I selected some celebrities to help, hmm, represent all three of our opponents this week. Sound good?
Sean and Eighteen both shake their heads yes, as the audience cheers again.
Danny Danger: Well, let’s start off with the woman you, Eighteen, know quite well. For Ms. Antonia Malone, I found her best friend, idol, and everything else under the sun, let me hear it for Britney Spears!
Danny, Eighteen, and Slug all clap as all of the preteen girls in the audience, as well as their creepy dads all go crazy for the pop icon. A woman in a “I’m With Stupid” t-shirt to which the arrow is pointing up, a “Who Farted?” trucker hat, and a pair of sweat pants and flip flops comes out with a baby in one arm and a cigarette in her right hand. Eighteen and Sean make room for her as she sits down. Britney lights a cigarette and flicks the ash on her baby’s head as she relaxes a little.
Sean Lewis: Jesus…
Android #18: Christ!
Danny Danger: How in God’s name are you aloud to hold that baby?
Britney Spears: Cause, I’m his momma and his momma can raise him how she wants to. Ya hear me, son?
Danny Danger: Actually, I thank all that is good and pure every night that I am not your son. But, moving along. How do you know Antonia?
Britney Spears: Well, see, she was one of my back up dancers way back when.
Android #18: Oh, you mean like K-Fed?
Britney Spears: Yep, but this was a little bit before K-Fed, honey.
She flicks another ash on her baby.
Sean Lewis: Man, if only you would have married her instead of that Vanilla Ice reject.
Danny Danger: Yeah… that would have been pretty hot.
Sean and Danny high five.
Britney Spears: Yay I wanna high five too!
Britney drops her baby and sneaks in a high five with Danny.
Android #18: The only time this chick has a brain is when she’s pregnant…
Britney Spears: Yeah well you don’t have a brain cause you’re a robot! FACE.
Danny Danger: OK, this is about all I can take of this. Tony, could you please excuse Ms. Spears, and give her baby to Social Services.
A huge Italian dude shakes his head yes and grabs Britney under one arm and the baby in the other. He walks off stage.
Danny Danger: OK, next is someone that I chose to represent Dan Taylor. Who better, I ask, to represent the other Franchise, then his close friend and possible life partner, Don Hinson!
Danny stands and claps, but the rest boo. Out comes the one and only Don Hinson in a Dan Taylor t-shirt, a briefcase full of tickets from when he went to RAW with Dan, and a half heart necklace, to which the other half belongs to Dan. He sits down next to a reluctant Sean Lewis.
Danny Danger: So, Donny my boy, how have things been?
Don Hinson: Oh, never better! In fact, I moved in with my bud, Randy Orton, and Dan is coming in soon, too. It’s gonna be like Three’s Company, only gayer.
Danny Danger: Well, that’s cool I guess.
Android #18: Danny, why the hell did you pick Don for Dan? The whole Dan <3 Don joke is played out.
Danny Danger: Oh, my precious android, it is deeper than that. See, as I’ve always said, Mr. Taylor lives behind the false sense of security that he is the greatest, that he is the next World champ… that he is the greatest thing to happen to e-feds sense proboards.
Sean Lewis: Yeah… and?
Danny Danger: Much like Mr. Taylor, Don is too living a lie. A post by Vinnie or no post by Vinnie, this pathetic fuck thinks he lives a 2 minute walk away from WWE champion Randy Orton. One minute he’s wrestling for OVW, then flying to North Carolina to meet with Lita for discussion of her WWE contract. They’re both pretending to be something they’re not.
Don Hinson: Hey! I do know Randy Orton! Ask one of my real life friends!
Danny Danger: How?
Don Hinson: I dunno…
Danny Danger: Exactly. Get this dork off my stage.
Again, Tony takes care of the problem, throwing Don out a window.
Danny Danger: And, last but not least… to represent that cunt Nero Phoenix, we have someone he should know very well, cause they’re closer together than my nuts… please welcome, Cabbage!
The audience is kinda mixed on this one as a giant piece of Cabbage comes from the curtain. Danny laughs whilst the vegetable sits down on the couch.
Danny Danger: Well, how are you, Cabbage?
Cabbage: Just great, Dan. Thanks for inviting me.
Danny Danger: No problem, and it’s Danny.
Sean Lewis: God this is stupid…
Android #18: It’s a Danny Danger Roleplay, what do you expect?
Danny Danger: SHUSH! Back to Cabby… so, Cabbage, how did you come across the one and only Nero Phoenix?
Cabbage: Bath house in downtown LA.
Eighteen throws up in her mouth a little bit and Sean gags.
Danny Danger: Are you serious?
Cabbage: Yeah… he was the only one that got me, ya know? Everyone else would always make fun of me for not showing…… up to work on time.
Sean now trades in gags for a little bit of a chuckle.
Danny Danger: Uh, what about you and Predator? How’s that whole thing going.
Cabbage: Actually, he ditched me for KJ.
Danny Danger: Oh! I’m so sorry!
Cabbage: Nah… it’s OK… they’re both big and muscular, and it’s good to see love, even if it’s envolving someone you care about that doesn’t care for you.
Danny Danger: Man, you really need to quit this whole wrestling thing and start working at McDonalds again.
Cabbage: I tried that, they wouldn’t rehire me. They have a strict no-tolerance policy on…
Sean Lewis: Fags?
Cabbage: No, breakdancers.
Android #18: ENOUGH! I can’t take it anymore! Where’s Tony?
At the mention of his name, Tony pops back up and takes care of the vegetable. We are now left with just Sean Lewis, Android #18, and the Addiction, Danny Danger.
Danny Danger: Well that concludes the first and last episode of the Danny Danger Show, and to answer your question, no, you can’t get those 15 minutes of your life back… but anyway, last thoughts guys?
Android #18: Antonia Malone, Xplosion ain’t big enough for the two of us. There is only one dominant diva in the EWE, and it’s the one who holds the World Heavyweight Championship!
Sean Lewis: Yeah, and Dan, get ready to be proven once again that there is one, and only one Franchise in Extreme Wrestling Entertainment. This Wednesday, Smart Goes Crazy all over your ass!
Danny Danger: And Nero… my good, good “friend”… my mere words cannot explain how much I hate you for what you did one week ago. True, you got the better, but that’s because I was angry. Now I am cool, calm, collected, and ready to tear you a new one. Antonia’s a cunt, Dan is a poser, and Nero… you’re fucking dead. I’m gonna make you wish I DID win, just so you wouldn’t have to live the hell that awaits you here on Xplosion. Ready or not, here I come… and
you can damn sure quote that!Sean Lewis: For one night and one night only, a former world champ, a future world champ, AND the world champ are coming together, and we are gonna let lose on all three of you. My boy Danny will be killing with the D7X, and Android #18 will be throwing fire balls left and right so fast you won’t know what the fuck hit you!
This is gonna be good!Android #18: Antonia… Dan… Nero… one way or the other, you ALL will feel the heat of this World Champion. I’ve beaten Dan more times than I can count with one hand, and Antonia isn’t on my level… and Nero? He isn’t even close to being close to being on my damn level.
All three of you are about to be annihilated!Danny Danger: Yeah, and then me and Eighteen are gonna go out for dinner!
Android #18: Do you want to be burned again?
Danny jumps a little.
Android #18: Thought so.
Danny Danger: OK… damn near 18 K… this has gone on too long... Well... atleast I know how much my show would suck. Dan, you wanna quit because of personal issues? Ya know, I've had many chances to do that, but I never did because I stick it threw and ride this shit til the end. Antonia, I don't know much about you, but this Wednesday consider yourself just a casualty of war... and Nero, I won't even get into details, save that you're about to get your ass whooped.
The scene then fades out.
