The PartyThe scene fades in on a Sunset Strip-ish setting. It’s maybe 7:30 in the morning, as the crack of dawn begins. As news papers flow in the wind, we settle inside an alley, where a man is passed out, most likely from an excessive amount of alcohol. He rolls over, exposing his face to be Danny Danger. He sits up.
Danny Danger: What the hell? Where am I? How did I get here?
Danny rubs his eyes while he thinks to himself. He then has a flashback.
Last Night…
The scene switches to a room with all kinds of beers, liquors, and different foods. It’s a party, to which everyone under contract in Extreme Wrestling Entertainment is enjoying. There is a stage where some bands are performing in from of a giant banner that has the big name superstars in EWE, and “REFUSION” written in front of them all. The band, Suicide Silence, ends their song “Unanswered” and Danny gets on stage to say a few words. He grabs the microphone.
Danny Danger: Hey everybody, thank you for coming to this little party I wanted to throw, as Xplosion and Chaos superstars come together for the last time before we all become simply, well, eWe superstars!
Everyone cheers loudly.
Danny Danger: Well I don’t wanna take up too much time because Suicide Silence is fucking awesome. So thanks to everyone for coming out, and let’s get eWe back to the way it should be, huh?
Everyone cheers again as Danny gives the microphone back to Mitch Luker. Danny gets off stage and makes his way over to a little bar set up sits, where some of his best friends inside the eWe enjoy their beverages. K~Dawg, Bret Unknown, and Manny all chill around having a few drinks, except for Bret cause he’s a straight edge ph4g, as Danny walks up to them.
Danny Danger: Hey, fellas. How’s it hanging.
Mr. Man: Brown, uncircumcised, and a little to the left.
K~Dawg: Ewww nigga, dat shitz like nastay, h’erd?
Bret Unknown: God, Kay… you’re such a mainstream poser.
Bret Unknown flips his hair and gets out his iPod.
Mr. Man: You’re just mad because Kay kisses ass to get to the top… you just kiss ass because you’re the gayest thing since gay came to gay town.
Danny Danger: All three of you shut it up. The days of Danny Jobber are long and gone, my friends. With the refusion of EWE, comes a bigger, better Danny Danger.
Mr. Man: Yeah… you say that, what, every roleplay?
K~Dawg: Yuh, lizzen to ya boi Man-eh. He da best. Convikt.
Mr. Man: Yeah… what the Feminem Reject said.
K~Dawg: Hey, homie. Eminem be dope.
Mr. Man: Yeah, at taking dick.
Bret Unknown: Guys, can’t we all just get along… and maybe make out a little?
They all look at each other. Manny punches Bret in the stomach and pushes him into a crowd of moshers who trample him. K~Dawg laughs.
K~Dawg: Dat nigga got served, her’ muh?
Danny Danger: Yeah… I kinda wish I didn’t, though.
Mr. Man: So what’s up with you and Nero, man? Did Carmen really let that Hollister fag hit it?
Danny Danger: Nah man, Carmen is more faithful than the family dog. I don’t know what retarded part of Nero’s punk ass brain came up with that, but it is what it is and I’ll handle that tomorrow, live at Last Stand… but for now.
Danny turns around facing the entire party…
Danny Danger: LET’S PARTY!!!
Everyone goes crazy again as Danny smiles. He turns to Manny and the two clash their drinks together and chug. The scene then shows a sped up montage of stuff that happens, including drinking, drinking, and just a little bit of drinking. It then cuts back to Danny who is in the alley, just now standing up.
Danny Danger: Well… that explains it, I guess.
He now starts to walk, holding his arms as he is cold. He looks over at a bum who is sleeping on a sidewalk. For some reason, the bum gets a “this teenage misfit kid is gonna beat me up cause he’s lame” vibe. He then hands Danny his trench coat. Danny laughs and gives the bum 3 hundred dollar bills. He tells him to buy himself a new one. He continues to walk down the street and finally stops, sitting on a sidewalk/street corner.
Danny Danger: Nero Phoenix… Nero, Nero, Nero… words can not describe the way I feel about you. It seems in 2, maybe 3 weeks, we have gone from the best of friends, to the worst of enemies. How?… easy, Nero. Your lack of morals… see, I am Danny Danger, and I am, more or less, a “rockstar”… I’ve done some pretty fucked up things, but I even I, the chain smoking, beer drinking, promiscuous sex having Danny Danger, have a few things I have never and will never do: and what you did is one of them.
He pauses…
Danny Danger: Nero, you aren’t realizing what this is. See, everyone is saying the same thing about you. “A shell of what you used to be”, or “washed up”… When I don’t really even see you as ever being on your “A-Game”, you just took advantage of EWE’s shitty state at the time you won the belt… and the second some people with talent stepped in, such as one of my personal heroes Johnny Chaos, your ass got owned. But, I digress. Fast forward, to present day. Seems everyone under the sun is talking trash about you, me included, eh Nero?
He laughs.
Danny Danger: Well now, you have, or had rather, your chance to prove them on. This could have very well been the stepping stone that led you on your path to being once again a top dog in the EWE. But, what’d you do? You called me girlfriend a slut pretty much, and made fun of a show that pretty much makes fun of itself without any help: American Idol. And I ask… what does this have to do with anything? Getting inside my head, maybe?
Again, a chuckle escapes his mouth.
Danny Danger: For someone who does and talks as much shit as you, you sure don’t know shit. Not about the Addiction, atleast. See, as fun loving and party-going as I may be, Nero, I’m basic when it comes to that ring. I don’t waste time. I don’t show off for the crowd. I get in there, I kick ass/try to kick ass, and I get out. But, it’s a little, just a little, different this week. How so? See, Nero, I’m not just gonna kick the shit out of you, I am gonna come as close to killing you as I can without actually going that far. I mean, are you REALLY taking into context what’s going down Sunday?
He pauses.
Danny Danger: Nero, this is LAST… MAN… STANDING! This means that for maybe an hour or so, we’re both going to partake in the most brutal type of match someone can have without over doing it. We are going to have to beat each other senseless until one of us can not get up after 10 whole seconds. And the best part? The weapons. Oh, the weapons. Basically I can do whatever I want to you other than just fucking shoot you, and believe me, I will. Anything I can get my hands on, expect it to be cracked or broken across your spray on tanned head… and not only, will I get redemption for you kid napping Carmen. Not only, will I shut your old mouth up. Not only, will I get to come at you relentlessly with weapon after weapon… but I will also, at the end of the night, be that much closer to winning Money in the Bank.
At the mention of Money in the Bank, he cracks a smile.
Danny Danger: Oh, how I long for that. Being able to hold that briefcase and use it to get a shot at the World title anytime I want… but that’s in the future, and I’ll day dream about that another time. What I will dream about, however, is your blood, Nero. It running down your face, and onto my fist. It staining the ring from corner to corner. It covering the weapons that I get to hit you with. You’re gonna bleed so much, the mere thought of your new gay theme song “Bleed American” will make you cringe… because if its one thing I want to do Sunday at Last Stand, it’s make THIS All-American Ass bleed like a stuffed pig.
He pauses again.
Danny Danger: Nero, all the 2 bit actors in the world can’t save you now. See, this is a Last Man Standing, at EWE’s Last Stand… After tonight, it won’t be about Orange or Red, we’ll all just be shades of Grey. Now maybe you want to take over this new era, I’m sure you do as a matter of fact… but it isn’t gonna happen. Sure, EWE may be at some sort of a low, but we’ll never get low enough to wear a punk like YOU could actually mean something.
He laughs a little.
Danny Danger: I know I may not have the win, loss, and draw record that can out do everyone else’s, but as cheesy as it sounds, I most definitely have the heart. I take a lot of ass kickings, Nero… a lot… but hey, that what I am. I take ass kickings, get all bruised up, and then come back next week, and do it all again. - Like I said, a sorry W/L/D, but damn it, I have a will to win bigger than Predator’s newest pic base… and there IS something I could thank you for, Nero. See, whether you did it on purpose or not, you made that will to win just that much bigger when you layed a hand on Carmen. You think I’m going to let a man like you, or a boy more correctly, tear my soon-to-be family apart? A baby on the way, and a future wife to be had, with the cherry on top of you fucking with them, as officially caused me to go ape-shit.
He smiles
Danny Danger: Nero, now let’s add it up. For one, I need to prove myself here and get that Money in the Bank spot. Two, this is a Last Man Standing match, and that alone makes me heart jump like it’s on cocain, since I love using weapons and being hardcore, period. And three, you layed a hand on my future wife and future son… Four, it just so happened that the combo of wanting to get into MITB, and loving hardcore matches, and you touching the two people/people to be I actually love has all come together in this one match, to which is probably the most important match of my life.
He thinks to himself, deeply.
Danny Danger: Nero, I guess the only thing left to say is that Sunday, I will be gladly to welcome you to the Danger Zone, and I’m not just saying that as my catchphrase sorta thing, I’m saying it as my “you might not walk out alive” sorta thing.
Suddenly, a limo pulls up. The black tented window rolls down in the backseat and we see Android 18 with her belt on her right shoulder.
Android #18: Danny? Shouldn’t you be roleplaying?
Danny Danger: Actually I am… why?
Android #18: Well, Last Stand is in like, 20 minutes. Come on, I’ll give you a ride.
Danny Danger: Oh shit! Alright, cool.
Danny gets up and puts one foot into the limo. He then turns to the camera one last time.
Danny Danger: Nero, at Last Stand, it will truly be YOUR Last Stand!
He then emerges himself completely in the vehicle as they drive off and the scene fades out.
