Street Urchin Chapter II
I sighed with relief. Stacey had a boyfriend. They’d been together forever. They were 100% in love. I used to be so jealous of her. Then I got Chet. I still missed him so much. I woke up in the middle of the night, and I grab my phone out of instinct, because every time I would wake up from a nightmare, his number would be the first I call. And no matter what time of night, he’d talk to me until I was calm.
THAT was love.
But, it was my misfortune of losing him. Not my fault, but my loss. Chet was an amazing man. I worshiped him. And they took him away from me. Just like they robbed me of my innocence when they forced me into sex. And when they beat me until I was almost dead.
“Gwen?” Stacey’s voice called, bringing me back to reality.
“Oh, uh, hi,” I smiled slightly.
“Where were you?” Stacey asked, smiling at me.
“Never Neverland,” I laughed.
“You sure do travel in that head of yours Gweny,” Stacey said, rustling my hair.
“Aw!” I said. “Come on! It took me like 15 minutes to get everything right!”
“Yeah right,” Stacey laughed. “A pony tail does not take 15 minutes.”
I sneered. “So what were we talking about?” I asked.
“Just catching up, when we realized you had become a drooling zombie,” Tara said, still lying back.
“You guys think you’re So funny!” I said.
“Well, we are,” Tara said. “So, back to my question, Gwen...”
Shit.
“I, well, it’s amazing, Tara. I could never describe it,” I said, my eyes began to fill as soon as I forced out that sentence. I turned away, and stood up, walking towards the large dresser Tara had. It was amazing her parents provided her with her stuff so young. She knew so soon. It took me so long to gather the courage. And here she was. I was so happy for Tara. It was the entire world I still hated.
They're crowded into the smallest spaces
While outside, all of nature cries
It's known to be cruel and unfair
But there is no place to hide
Oh, I've seen a part of people that I never really wanted to share
Oh, I've seen a part of people that I never knew was there
[/center]
“So,” Ashley said, with a smile on her face, “What are you doing this weekend?”
It was way too early. I had a bad night the night before. Several nightmares. The kind that leave you awake for an hour afterwards, shaking in your bed, the fear weighing so heavily on you, that you have the need to just get up and run and check under the bed to see what is going on.
“Ugh,” I said, scanning my brain, trying to find something that was on my schedule this weekend. Everything came up blank. It was a shame I was always so open and unbusy on the weekends. When Chet was still...alive... he and I always had plans on the weekends.
But, since he passed away, I never did much of anything, at all> And it was a true and deep shame, because the more I sat around, the more I thought about him. But all I ever did anymore was go and hangout with tara, or hangout with Stacey. I never really did anything for myself, or made any plans. I just followed my friends.
“I don’t think I am doing anything” I said, yawning.
“Good,” she said, handing me a slip of paper, then she began to walk away. I kept staring down the hallway. It was very hard for me not to do things like that when I was tired. Have you ever had that? You get looking in a direction, and you’re just way too tired to even think about turning your head. Well, that was the story I had for this incident.
“So, a voice said beside me, “You got an invite too?”
I turned my ehad, standing next to me, looking immaculate as she always does, was Stacey.
“An invite?” I said, confused.
“Gwen, hon,” She said.
“Hm?” I grunted.
“Look at your hand.”
I did. In my hand was a slip of paper. I looked on it.
You are invited, to the Ashley Carter First Annual Birthday, Sleep Over Celebration!“Sleep over celebration?’ I read aloud
“Indeed, Gweny,” Stacey laughed.
“Ugh,” I groaned. I did not like these kinds of things. I mean, I have to take hormone pills every night. How do I explain ‘Hey everybody, hold on, while I pop the estrogen that causes me to grow breasts.’ It just doesn’t work that way.
“I know. I never liked sleep overs,” Stacey said. “But you know we have to go. That is, if you still want to be Little Miss Popular.”
That really dug deep, but she knew it was what I wanted. I read online, that most transsexuals always long to feel accepted. And the truth was, that was dead on. It couldn’t have been more right, if they had handed out ballots to every transsexual in the entire world. We all wanted to be loved for who we were. And if I was popular I would be. When I was on the verge of being female full-time, I would often ask my mom to go out and buy me Seventeen magazine and all of those other magazines that showed what it took to be a pretty and popular teenage girl. And I dreamed of looking like that.
I dreamed of that being my reality. And Stacey knew it. I used to tell her all the time that I wished I was like her, or I wished I had hips like her, or a chest like her, or hair like her. I was always wanting to be ‘her’ but never really and truly happy with me.
“I’m sorry, Gwen,” Stacey said. “I know how much you want to be popular. I just wish that all three of us could be. Not just you and me.”
Yeah, me too, I thought to myself. I would love with everything in my heart for Tara to be accepted for who she was. Though I wished I could be as well. The fact is to be popular, I couldn’t be myself. It was a sad truth, but it had to be realized. I have spent so much of my friendship with Stacey jealous of her. And she knows it. Just because she never has to truly hide from herself.
I do.
Tara does.
“It’s okay, you’re just as annoyed as I am,” I said, turning towards my open locker. It had served its purpose, holding my books for me. But I closed it, having everything I needed.
“I hope someday people like you guys can finally be happy. And not always have to worry about so much,” Stacey said. She was very compassionate to us. She was around during some of the toughest time during my transition. And she seen what it did to me. If it wasn’t my mother or my sister, her shoulder was the one I cried on.
“I hope so too,” I said, letting out an audible sigh.
I can't sleep - haunted by their faces
The sadness in their eyes
It hurts so much to see them helpless
It makes me want to cry
But still there is so much left unanswered
For so many innocent lives
They closed the door and are letting nobody in
And only the strong will survive
[/center]
Gwen Rose, the EWE Women’s Champion sat backstage, her Championship hanging over her shoulder. She has her hair down, and is dressed in a pair of tight dark blue jeans and a red top made to look like it was a bandana.
“Brooke, you’re such a sad, sad story. You think this match will be your final stop on the board to success, but all this will be is yet another let down, this time, at my hands. This time I will leave you disappointed, and all you’ll be able to do is sit there and wonder “what went wrong?”
“The only thing that saddens me about this match, is that two of the choices have been decided for the sole purpose of humiliating me. The EWE management is making an effort to embarrass me. Because the management of this company is prejudice for people like me. People who have been made to suffer our entire lives, thanks to no one, except God. See, I have God to thank for this birth defect bestowed upon me. Brooke McGuire has nothing to worry about. But, wait, yes she does. Because, no matter what Brooke wears I will make sure it will be gone, and I will make sure that I win no matter the cost.
“I will make sure come the end of the night, the one true Champion of the Women’s division keeps her title for another night!
“Brooke, I have a red rose for you.”[/color]
