Post by Abdul on Nov 15, 2006 20:45:51 GMT -5
The following contains spelling mistakes, things that don’t make sense, and severe bashing towards everybody mentioned, and foul language, and over excessive use of the word “f**k”. If you cant take these kind of things, or are a pussy and take everything sensitively, or don’t have no dick, then don’t bother reading, because in the words of Yoda… OFFENDED… BE… YOU WILL!
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In the first report, you saw me bash the fuck out of Cabbage, now I did say if you’ve already been mentioned, it was most likely you wouldn’t be mentioned again, but I say screw it, this is my report, and I can do whatever the fuck I want
I start this edition with mixed emotions, of hurt, of anger, of pain. Somebody who I considered a good friend on the internet world so to speak, and had misconceptions of meeting him in real life have now phased away. It appears I have been living under a false illusion, and the harsh reality has now been struck upon me. So before I get onto actual EWE matters, I need to address a situation, and seeing as that douche-bag has either blocked me on MSN, or just hasn’t been online for the past week, he has now faced the consequences of a messy ordeal, as this is going public.
Ashan or Ahsan, better known to the EWE faithful as Ash (handler of Edge) has committed a grave sin upon me, one which I may expose, and another which I must threaten. For those of you who don’t know, me and Ash have been like a pair of long lost brothers, and ever since we meet in EWE, weve been inseparably (well that’s atleast my view, his may differ).
When I obtained tickets for WWE RAW back in June, for this weeks event that has just past I was ecstatic, and I was even more thrilled when Ash said hed be going aswell. I was like “cool nigga, well meet, and make sex”, however, It seems we have a very big fraud on his hands.
Firstly when I asked for your phone number, you give me it, and as much as you want to deny it, I feel you have just made a sucka ass bitch out of me, “The number you have dialled has not been recognized” the operator continuosly bemoaned every time I rang, no offence dude (yeah he hates it when I call him that) but I think that’s the biggest bullshit story ever.
Its one thing to give me a fake phone number, but then to blindly detest that it actually is your number is low, like I said to you several times on MSN, if you don’t want me having your number, atleast have the balls and be a man and tell me “NO, I aint giving me your phone number, you weirdo”.
The phone number bit though I can maybe avoid, but from what my MSN logs say, you stated that you were seated in Block B, Row P at Raw. Now I Checked the whole of Block B, Hell I checked the whole of Block C, D and E, and nowhere did I find you, now it may just be paranoia, you could have been sitting somewhere else, but the mere fact you avoided me on MSN, did nothing more than further frustrate me. So I will leave the a stark erotic homosexual warning, and can be best said with inspirations from Eminem
Right then, onto eWe matters, first on the agenda is James Ceno. The resident fuckface that is slowly becoming in my opinion, the new Johnny Doom. In no way do I compare your rp abilities though, you are far superior than Mr.Doom. But your attitude as of late isn’t one that I approve of. Best not matter how much I like or dislike you I am never one to deny somebody of their roleplay talent. Kudos on your big win over 18 at Showdown, and not to further plummet Jennifer’s spirit after she found out Mikes tool was getting shorter and couldn’t satisfy her due to the increase in steroids. But in all truth and honesty, who hasn’t beaten 18 as of late? However I think its time you took the next step, so I’d start setting my sights on the big prize my friend, I’d start going for a WHC title hunt, I don’t care who it is, I just wanna see Cabbage losing the title quick, and I wont it happen imminently.
Chris Steel. How the wife coming along partna, banged her lately (I know it’s a bit of an intimate and personal question, how disgusting of me to refer to her that way). Now you’re in two sides of the coin my friend, you’re one of the veteran roleplayers so to speak, a few months ago I saw you making a genuine progression, but now all I see you in is in the same place you were a year ago. I urge you to work harder, you may think “but I’m already trying my best” that’s good enough, but those who are truly great, always look to improve, even if they are at imperfection. You have a brilliant character to work off, you will reach the top one day, I just don’t want to see you turn into wasted talent, because wasted talent is the worst thing any man can have.
It may be a little bit of old news, but KJ left the eWe last week. That was a sad day to say the least, I wish him the best with whatever he does in the future, and he is and will always be, the greatest quality based rper I shall ever meet. People like Chris Steel and K~Dawg she learn from KJ’s experience. I’m not saying you have to do incredibly long rps like all of us, all I’m asking is you to bring out quality, bleed that stone further, push yourself to the unimagineable limits
On the subject of KJ though, I have a stark confession to make to you, when I said I was leaving EWE, I was leaving it, a few of you misunderstood thinking I had quit efeds all together. Ouhh how you have been deceived, I didn’t quit efeds, I simply left eWe for better opportunities, for brighter prospects, yes indeed, University work still does come first for me, and that comes above anything efed related, but I still do have time for roleplaying.
For the past three months, some of you may know, but I have been roleplaying for WiW as Muhammad Hassan, which I can say with great confidence, is the greatest efed to ever step foot on this planet. The competition, the storylines, the ooc drama, is on a level that you would only wish for to feel in the creaming of your pants compared to eWe. And recently I stole one of the eWe loyals and acquired him to WiW. And this eWe loyal, is none other than Kris Jaxson. Now this may anger, shock, or plain right “I don’t give a fuck, I don’t care, I don’t take these matters seriously its only the internet” attitude strike you, but eWe is the past, and WiW is the future for me. I feel like Tiger Woods when he turned pro, I was one of the best when I was in eWe, but now turning to WiW, I’m in a pond of the best the e-wrestling world has to offer, I’m in the big leagues! If anybody would like to join this movement, I won’t spam the address here, I will supply you with a link via PM.
Alex Stone, On the train journey to Manchester this week for RAW, the virgin guys stopped over at Stoke-On-Trent, never knew you was like 20 mins away from Manchester, and when I did pass by, I thought of two things, YOU, and how shitty your football team is. I always like a british presence in feds, and wish you the best in EWE, your climbing up the ladder to success, you’ve had a few bumps and falls on the way, but you’ve resiliently come back fighting each week, keep it up dude, youll be running wild soon on EWE.
Word has it Jay is sick and tired of efeds, for the 364th time geocities has decided to wipe out all of the data on his account, which had a considerable amount of results archive, roleplays, and eWe related images and pages, along with a video clip of jay whacking himself, to a huge load of hardcore san franscisco based pornography (i.e Gay porn). I consoled him to change servers, but being the stubborn fucker that he is, and a bellend (in reality you know I love you like a weird childish lover) he refused, so me with my pride sed fine fuck you, and him with his pride said the same, what a guy eh?
Rumour also has it, that Anita is gonna job the title to Jay (Trish Stratus) at Final Cut. As previously mentioned Anita is getting “bored” of efeds, and wants to call it quits, the only reason shes been hanging on thin ice, is because she wants to reach that 1 year mark. Sources say that she could be seen as switching characters over to Trish Stratus, so that would effectively make her still champion, but her historic and record breaking year long reign as Candice looks soon to be breaking.
Rikku, Almost 100 rps, jumping mahatma girl, you deserve a huge abdul wank for that, dunno what else to say, it’s getting hot in here, I am getting so hot that I wanna take my clothes off. Literally though I’m feeling really hot here in my room…
AHH that’s better, I just stripped naked, and am now fondling with myself whilst typing this, the freedom of Uni life, what a way to live
Ouhh and DDD, what on earth where you thinking when you told Shaz to make a sign that says “DDD owns EWE” for Raw, I can’t believe Shaz actually made it aswell, I made sure he didn’t air that on live tv personally when we went to the arena, because one you don’t own EWE, and two, lil but full of yourself aren’t you? Apart from the Tag Titles, when was the last time you actually won a title worth two shits? Gotten below the par have we, cant match up to the competition any more? Now this will either infuriate you and cause you to go on a vendetta of hatred against me, or it will rile you, to further progress yourself back towards the big picture, if it is the latter, than my goal has been fulfilled.
So onto questions, *goes to check pms* 8o…
Only 1 fucking question? Come on people you are pathetic, I expect more next week
QUESTION : From anonymous cocksucker also known as Blowjob…
List a few of the guys you think can take the EWE title off of Law
ANSWER:
1. Jason Scott – I personally think the guy is a cunt, and has no genuine roleplay talent whatsoever, but knowing how corrupt eWe can be, especially with his victory over Tiger, what the fuck! I say what the fuck with a force! I could see it happening, would be the stupidest and most unwise move ever, but especially with the mood Jay is in as of late, don’t put it past the fat fucker
Blowjob said name a few, but browsing through the ewe “CHAOS” roster, I cant see one male or female apart from the bent dick mentioned above, who could mount a serious challenge to Law and snatch his title away, if Law dominates too much though, who knows, you could see me returning for one night only to take that title off him myself. When the brand split first happened, I could comfortable say Chaos was the number 1 show, however at present, taking into consideration the losses Chaos has made, and the defections, Xplosion has now become the better brand out of the two, when you look at the Xplosion roster as compared to the Chaos roster, it is far superior, which is why probably at Final Cut, so many are routing Xplosion to win that stupid 5 man team thing.
Last but not least, I include the return of Sean Lewis. Its quite ironic that last week, I mentioned that Sean Lewis should be returning to eWe, and then up comes Showdown and surprise surprise, Blowjob has returned as the masked marauder.
And that’s all I got for this week folks. Just remember you can hear scoops like Sean Lewis’s return spoiler first on The Abdul Files, the spookiest thing since Scullys vagina was probed by aliens in the X-Files.
PEACE OUT PPL
NEXT WEEK…
Did Abdul cross the line with his comments?
Will Abdul return to eWe after his teasing hint?
Does Abdul fondle with lil kids?
*Please note... none of the above questions will actually be answered
If you want to know, then send your questions, complaints, and orgasms to Abdul through PM
Through AIM – Abdul88Haseeb
Through MSN – haseeb_lut@hotmail.com
Or Through Your Cocks
HAVE A NICE DAY
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In the first report, you saw me bash the fuck out of Cabbage, now I did say if you’ve already been mentioned, it was most likely you wouldn’t be mentioned again, but I say screw it, this is my report, and I can do whatever the fuck I want
I start this edition with mixed emotions, of hurt, of anger, of pain. Somebody who I considered a good friend on the internet world so to speak, and had misconceptions of meeting him in real life have now phased away. It appears I have been living under a false illusion, and the harsh reality has now been struck upon me. So before I get onto actual EWE matters, I need to address a situation, and seeing as that douche-bag has either blocked me on MSN, or just hasn’t been online for the past week, he has now faced the consequences of a messy ordeal, as this is going public.
Ashan or Ahsan, better known to the EWE faithful as Ash (handler of Edge) has committed a grave sin upon me, one which I may expose, and another which I must threaten. For those of you who don’t know, me and Ash have been like a pair of long lost brothers, and ever since we meet in EWE, weve been inseparably (well that’s atleast my view, his may differ).
When I obtained tickets for WWE RAW back in June, for this weeks event that has just past I was ecstatic, and I was even more thrilled when Ash said hed be going aswell. I was like “cool nigga, well meet, and make sex”, however, It seems we have a very big fraud on his hands.
Firstly when I asked for your phone number, you give me it, and as much as you want to deny it, I feel you have just made a sucka ass bitch out of me, “The number you have dialled has not been recognized” the operator continuosly bemoaned every time I rang, no offence dude (yeah he hates it when I call him that) but I think that’s the biggest bullshit story ever.
Its one thing to give me a fake phone number, but then to blindly detest that it actually is your number is low, like I said to you several times on MSN, if you don’t want me having your number, atleast have the balls and be a man and tell me “NO, I aint giving me your phone number, you weirdo”.
The phone number bit though I can maybe avoid, but from what my MSN logs say, you stated that you were seated in Block B, Row P at Raw. Now I Checked the whole of Block B, Hell I checked the whole of Block C, D and E, and nowhere did I find you, now it may just be paranoia, you could have been sitting somewhere else, but the mere fact you avoided me on MSN, did nothing more than further frustrate me. So I will leave the a stark erotic homosexual warning, and can be best said with inspirations from Eminem
I ain't that mad, but I just don't like bein' lied to.
See, everything you say is real, and I respect you 'cause you tell it.
My girlfriend's jealous 'cause I talk about you 24/7.
But she don't know you like I know you, Ash, no one does.
She don't know what it was like for people like us growing up.
You've gotta call me man. I'll be the biggest friend you'll ever lose.
Sincerely yours, Abdul. PS: We should be together too.
See, everything you say is real, and I respect you 'cause you tell it.
My girlfriend's jealous 'cause I talk about you 24/7.
But she don't know you like I know you, Ash, no one does.
She don't know what it was like for people like us growing up.
You've gotta call me man. I'll be the biggest friend you'll ever lose.
Sincerely yours, Abdul. PS: We should be together too.
Right then, onto eWe matters, first on the agenda is James Ceno. The resident fuckface that is slowly becoming in my opinion, the new Johnny Doom. In no way do I compare your rp abilities though, you are far superior than Mr.Doom. But your attitude as of late isn’t one that I approve of. Best not matter how much I like or dislike you I am never one to deny somebody of their roleplay talent. Kudos on your big win over 18 at Showdown, and not to further plummet Jennifer’s spirit after she found out Mikes tool was getting shorter and couldn’t satisfy her due to the increase in steroids. But in all truth and honesty, who hasn’t beaten 18 as of late? However I think its time you took the next step, so I’d start setting my sights on the big prize my friend, I’d start going for a WHC title hunt, I don’t care who it is, I just wanna see Cabbage losing the title quick, and I wont it happen imminently.
Chris Steel. How the wife coming along partna, banged her lately (I know it’s a bit of an intimate and personal question, how disgusting of me to refer to her that way). Now you’re in two sides of the coin my friend, you’re one of the veteran roleplayers so to speak, a few months ago I saw you making a genuine progression, but now all I see you in is in the same place you were a year ago. I urge you to work harder, you may think “but I’m already trying my best” that’s good enough, but those who are truly great, always look to improve, even if they are at imperfection. You have a brilliant character to work off, you will reach the top one day, I just don’t want to see you turn into wasted talent, because wasted talent is the worst thing any man can have.
It may be a little bit of old news, but KJ left the eWe last week. That was a sad day to say the least, I wish him the best with whatever he does in the future, and he is and will always be, the greatest quality based rper I shall ever meet. People like Chris Steel and K~Dawg she learn from KJ’s experience. I’m not saying you have to do incredibly long rps like all of us, all I’m asking is you to bring out quality, bleed that stone further, push yourself to the unimagineable limits
On the subject of KJ though, I have a stark confession to make to you, when I said I was leaving EWE, I was leaving it, a few of you misunderstood thinking I had quit efeds all together. Ouhh how you have been deceived, I didn’t quit efeds, I simply left eWe for better opportunities, for brighter prospects, yes indeed, University work still does come first for me, and that comes above anything efed related, but I still do have time for roleplaying.
For the past three months, some of you may know, but I have been roleplaying for WiW as Muhammad Hassan, which I can say with great confidence, is the greatest efed to ever step foot on this planet. The competition, the storylines, the ooc drama, is on a level that you would only wish for to feel in the creaming of your pants compared to eWe. And recently I stole one of the eWe loyals and acquired him to WiW. And this eWe loyal, is none other than Kris Jaxson. Now this may anger, shock, or plain right “I don’t give a fuck, I don’t care, I don’t take these matters seriously its only the internet” attitude strike you, but eWe is the past, and WiW is the future for me. I feel like Tiger Woods when he turned pro, I was one of the best when I was in eWe, but now turning to WiW, I’m in a pond of the best the e-wrestling world has to offer, I’m in the big leagues! If anybody would like to join this movement, I won’t spam the address here, I will supply you with a link via PM.
Alex Stone, On the train journey to Manchester this week for RAW, the virgin guys stopped over at Stoke-On-Trent, never knew you was like 20 mins away from Manchester, and when I did pass by, I thought of two things, YOU, and how shitty your football team is. I always like a british presence in feds, and wish you the best in EWE, your climbing up the ladder to success, you’ve had a few bumps and falls on the way, but you’ve resiliently come back fighting each week, keep it up dude, youll be running wild soon on EWE.
Word has it Jay is sick and tired of efeds, for the 364th time geocities has decided to wipe out all of the data on his account, which had a considerable amount of results archive, roleplays, and eWe related images and pages, along with a video clip of jay whacking himself, to a huge load of hardcore san franscisco based pornography (i.e Gay porn). I consoled him to change servers, but being the stubborn fucker that he is, and a bellend (in reality you know I love you like a weird childish lover) he refused, so me with my pride sed fine fuck you, and him with his pride said the same, what a guy eh?
Rumour also has it, that Anita is gonna job the title to Jay (Trish Stratus) at Final Cut. As previously mentioned Anita is getting “bored” of efeds, and wants to call it quits, the only reason shes been hanging on thin ice, is because she wants to reach that 1 year mark. Sources say that she could be seen as switching characters over to Trish Stratus, so that would effectively make her still champion, but her historic and record breaking year long reign as Candice looks soon to be breaking.
Rikku, Almost 100 rps, jumping mahatma girl, you deserve a huge abdul wank for that, dunno what else to say, it’s getting hot in here, I am getting so hot that I wanna take my clothes off. Literally though I’m feeling really hot here in my room…
AHH that’s better, I just stripped naked, and am now fondling with myself whilst typing this, the freedom of Uni life, what a way to live
Ouhh and DDD, what on earth where you thinking when you told Shaz to make a sign that says “DDD owns EWE” for Raw, I can’t believe Shaz actually made it aswell, I made sure he didn’t air that on live tv personally when we went to the arena, because one you don’t own EWE, and two, lil but full of yourself aren’t you? Apart from the Tag Titles, when was the last time you actually won a title worth two shits? Gotten below the par have we, cant match up to the competition any more? Now this will either infuriate you and cause you to go on a vendetta of hatred against me, or it will rile you, to further progress yourself back towards the big picture, if it is the latter, than my goal has been fulfilled.
So onto questions, *goes to check pms* 8o…
Only 1 fucking question? Come on people you are pathetic, I expect more next week
QUESTION : From anonymous cocksucker also known as Blowjob…
List a few of the guys you think can take the EWE title off of Law
ANSWER:
1. Jason Scott – I personally think the guy is a cunt, and has no genuine roleplay talent whatsoever, but knowing how corrupt eWe can be, especially with his victory over Tiger, what the fuck! I say what the fuck with a force! I could see it happening, would be the stupidest and most unwise move ever, but especially with the mood Jay is in as of late, don’t put it past the fat fucker
Blowjob said name a few, but browsing through the ewe “CHAOS” roster, I cant see one male or female apart from the bent dick mentioned above, who could mount a serious challenge to Law and snatch his title away, if Law dominates too much though, who knows, you could see me returning for one night only to take that title off him myself. When the brand split first happened, I could comfortable say Chaos was the number 1 show, however at present, taking into consideration the losses Chaos has made, and the defections, Xplosion has now become the better brand out of the two, when you look at the Xplosion roster as compared to the Chaos roster, it is far superior, which is why probably at Final Cut, so many are routing Xplosion to win that stupid 5 man team thing.
Last but not least, I include the return of Sean Lewis. Its quite ironic that last week, I mentioned that Sean Lewis should be returning to eWe, and then up comes Showdown and surprise surprise, Blowjob has returned as the masked marauder.
And that’s all I got for this week folks. Just remember you can hear scoops like Sean Lewis’s return spoiler first on The Abdul Files, the spookiest thing since Scullys vagina was probed by aliens in the X-Files.
PEACE OUT PPL
NEXT WEEK…
Did Abdul cross the line with his comments?
Will Abdul return to eWe after his teasing hint?
Does Abdul fondle with lil kids?
*Please note... none of the above questions will actually be answered
If you want to know, then send your questions, complaints, and orgasms to Abdul through PM
Through AIM – Abdul88Haseeb
Through MSN – haseeb_lut@hotmail.com
Or Through Your Cocks
HAVE A NICE DAY
